November 2013 - I Will Follow

The sequence of pictures (and occasional deep paragraphs) continues!

Here are some of us at Red Robin one evening...

And here's a picture from class time in the basement!

The basement... it is a wonderful place. Such wonderful things happen in the basement. I've tried to pinpoint a physical location that I would describe as home. I've concluded that I simply can't do that. My home is not in California. My home is not in Washington. Neither the house I grew up in, nor the house I sojourn in now. Neither one is home. The basement obviously isn't my home either, but it's the closest I can get to pinpointing a physical location as "home" during this season of my life.

I know you're all wondering where I will be next year. I understand, I'm wondering too. I'm learning how to trust even when this big roaring uncertainty confronts me. Because... California is my home. I have a few roots there. I've been uprooted many times, but the core roots - my parents - have always been there, and some of my other roots came back. I have amazing parents. I have awesome siblings. I have the best nephew in the world. I have a lovely niece on the way. I have some extended family. In California... my father is in California. And that fact alone makes it home. And this year I've learned how to love and appreciate my mother more than I knew how to before. And I want to get to know my parents better than I do, especially now that I know who I myself am better than I once did. And, while I don't see myself getting married for some 5 years, perhaps, I want my future husband to go to my father and ask for permission to court me. And I want the two of them to be great friends. I need that. I need my father and mother involved in... in my life. And in the lives of their future grandchildren. The last thing I want is a gap, a rift of distance from one generation to the next. I've seen it happen before. This happens in the books. So in that way I have experienced it before. And know I don't want that for my life.

And yet, I don't know what my tomorrows hold. Even just next year. I could be back in California. I could remain in Washington. I could move to Europe or Africa or South America for all I know! I do know, though, that if offered an internship at this point I would accept. But I'm only halfway in the year, I don't know what 5 months down the road holds. I follow my King where He goes. Whether that's California, Washington, Honduras, Columbia, England, Austria, Switzerland, Uganda, or... or McMurdo, for crying out loud! xD Haha. And as California is my home because I have a few roots there, Washington is now also my home. Here I have a community, a people. I have my GL class. In some aspects, I now have the strongest roots I've ever had. But at the end of the year we will disband, and... and I don't know what comes after that. I don't know what roots remain when my class disbands. I don't know what doors will be opened at that point. But I choose to trust that doors will be opened. I am surrounded by doors in Washington... if He takes me back to California He will have to show me doors where I now see none. In my life I will have a people and a community, a husband and children, a rich and full life. If He opens doors for that in California, awesome. 

This song has been a favorite of mine since... well, all my life, in a way. I first heard it not long after giving Him my heart when I was 15/16. This song defines my life. I write this the night before I depart for Honduras, and it will auto-publish while I am in Honduras. And it truly is my hope that I will be a world traveler throughout my life. Well, in certain seasons... Obviously no mother wants to be catching planes with toddlers in toe all the time. xD But for seasons... who knows which seasons? Other than right now, obviously. But yes... I will follow. This is what brought me to Washington in the first place. And this is what will either keep me in Washington or return me to California. Assuming, of course, that a season of foreign countries does not arise this summer.

At the end of the year, I will have choices to make. At the end of the following year, I will have choices to make. Five years from now, I will have choices to make. And so on. Following doesn't mean it's always obvious. I still have to ponder, to consider, to look at circumstances, weigh through emotions and truths and promptings - and reach a conclusion. And I want my parents to be involved in the decision I make at the end of the year, and the decision I make the following year, and the major decisions I make throughout my life. I really do. And we're going to have to get to know each other better for that. Like I mentioned in a previous post, now that I know myself better, I am in a position where I can make myself known to my parents in ways I could not before. And I want to do that. And I want to get to know them better, too. I love you, Mother and Father.

And here we have a birthday party bonfire... we afterwards went and played hide and seek in the trees. ^_^ Not like forest trees, but a bunch of pine trees. It's a Christmas tree farm.

And this amazing shirt I saw somewhere. I know I saw it in the airport in December, but I must have seen it somewhere else in November too, since this picture is dated November 26th. Isn't it brilliant, selling this shirt in an airport? ;) But anyway, I love it. I should get this when I'm in my most traveling season, shouldn't I?

October 2013 - Seattle, Spokane, and the Valley

And on to my second month in the Valley! ...Well, not exactly, since I only arrived halfway through September. ;) But still.

On the ferry, crossing over to downtown Seattle!

Wandering the streets of Seattle in a group of 6 of us. Honestly, Seattle is not a nice place! But it was fun with all of us together.

And this is in Spokane when we went for a conference, me and the little girl from the house I staid at.

And my poor mother wondering whether or not I was still alive, due to a lack of regular communication. My apologies! Time doesn't run the same this far north. I think that it had probably been about 3 days in Washington since we last talked, while 3 weeks passed in California.

September 2013 - For the First Time in Forever

And here is the first month of my life in the valley!

My luggage, all ready to go... and my bins, all ready to stay.

Orientation! The kickoff to begin it all... Some two dozen strangers who would soon become my family.

I've really enjoyed some of the songs from the movie Frozen. I can relate to Anna in many ways... I can just feel her delight as she sings, "The window is open, so's that door... I didn't know they did that anymore!" For the longest time I lived in insecurity and isolation. I opened very few doors and windows to people outside of my immediate family and my computer. Few doors were presented to me, and I was so uncertain in my identity that I didn't dare go seek out doors to open.

Anna continues to sing - 

There'll be actual real live people

It'll be totally strange

But wow, am I so ready for this change!

'Cause for the first time in forever

There'll be music, there'll be light

For the first time in forever

I'll be dancing through the night

'Cause for the first time in forever

I won't be alone

For the first time in forever

I'm getting what I'm dreaming of

A chance to change my lonely world

From the time I was 16 until I was almost 18, I was content in my isolation. I had no roots, no connections, I was alone. Just me and my parents, with an occasional visit from my sister and nephew... My nana, maybe, my cousin... my brother... and my computer people. I love my family, I love my computer people! ...but there's no future for me there. It's not as if I could marry one of my computer guy friends. It's not as if I could homeschool co-op with my computer girl friends. Yet at that time I gave little thought to the future. I was content, because it was me and Jesus. What need did I have for a community and a people? And what did that even look like, anyway? My past had left me jaded and uncertain what a community and a people even meant. But the time came when Jesus stepped back, in order to communicate to me that it was not okay. I couldn't wall myself in behind closed doors and shuttered windows forever. My contentment vanished. For two years... I existed in my lonely world. What could drive a quiet shy insecure young woman to leave her safe little bubble and take a year-long journey alone into the big scary world far away from what little roots she might have? Just this. My King, my beloved, He summoned me hither. He ceased to meet my emotional needs in order to drive me out of my comfortable isolation. Because it wasn't comfortable isolation from 18-20. It was lonely. It was very lonely. So, like Anna, I was met with a chance to change my lonely world.

Here in this picture are my actual real live people, and for the first few months it was totally strange, haha! But I was so ready for the change. Here there's music, there's light. Here in this season of my life... the dark lonely places in my heart are being driven out by light. My weary and jaded soul is learning again how to laugh, sing, and dance. The silent places in my life are being broken off as I open my mouth, as I cease to conceal the tender places of my life which I once kept behind a mask. Yes, 16-18 were the best years of my life. Yes, 18-20 were the toughest years of my life. I will no longer conceal who I am. I will no longer wear a mask of status quo to conceal pain or joy in my life. I am free. I am in a wonderful season of life right now...  and my best days are yet ahead of me. :)

Four days into week one... a bonfire!

For the third week... beginning of the year retreat! Games and activities in the day, and gathering nightly to share our stories. Testimony nights and Orientation week won my heart for GL from the very beginning. Ah, the week of orientation. I sat there hungry and parched - being handed enough recipe cards for a feast, and being promised a year full off ingredients. I've not been disappointed. :)

August 2013 - Goodbye, California!

My last month in California!

Elyse and I at the mall... seizing the candy. ;)

My very personality-filled cat!

My precious nephew. x)

My fun brother!

And my awesome parents. :)

A Stamp in my Passport

In approximately 24 hours, I will receive the very first stamp in my passport. Tomorrow... March 3, 2014. It will be a big day, a big milestone, a stamp on the calendar of my life. I'm ready to become a world traveler. ;) It may actually be more than 24 hours... We leave Washington for Texas, I believe, at 10:00 PM. From Texas we'll fly to Honduras. I don't suppose I get my passport stamped until either I leave Texas or arrive in Honduras? This is all new to me. And I suppose I get another stamp upon my return, March 18th.

My checked suitcase is already on the bus, and my carry on is 99% ready to go. Tomorrow evening... it all starts.

I don't really have any profound or thoughtful things to say... I'm just kinda staring at the screen, feeling like a blog post ought to consist of more than one tiny paragraph. You know, at least as a rule of thumb.

Well... no brilliant thoughts are occurring to me, so I'll leave it at that. I'm leaving the country. And I'm thrilled. And I love all of you. :)

I'm going to put up some pictures from the last seven months of my life... I'll schedule them so they get posted while I'm gone. Enjoy!

Farewell.

Further up and further in!

Seasons and Time

Busy, busy, busy!

Those are three words that describe life in GL very well, naturally.

But you know what they say? They say life outside of GL is even busier. It's an interesting concept to consider. I pledged long ago not to lead a busy life. Oh, I've always known that I'd have busy seasons, but I stick to my goal of never camping there for years on end.

The thing is, I think, to simplify, simplify, simplify. Back in the old days people lived in covered wagons or homesteads slapped together out of felled trees, complete with a dirt floor. They did NOT live simple lives. They worked hard to keep enough wood chopped to feed the fires. They hauled water from the river or the well. The tediousness of meal preparation, the struggle to keep enough clothes sewn and mended for the whole family, the bother it was to get enough water hot to bathe in, the "vehicle maintenance" in the barn... the rush of the harvest, the long days of cooking apple butter, of cleaning and preserving meats, the planting and weeding and upkeep of the garden... and... well, you know, everything they did. Think of the major inconveniences they went through every single day in order to complete the most basic tasks of living!

And all those inconveniences have been eliminated. We reside in warm houses with cars that aren't living breathing animals. We have a semi-functional economy which takes all the food we would ever want and makes it easily available to us. When we want water, we have it right there without even a thought. We have everything easy! ... So why are we even busier and more stressed out than they were in those days?

It is a valuable question to consider. And I'll take what I find and implement it in my household one day. Technology will be at a minimum. The schedule won't be packed. There will be time to live and exist... time to walk in the park, make messes in the kitchen, read books...

The busiest seasons of my life will probably be when my children are small. Juggling little bundles of energy, along with toddlers and infants, is business all in itself! And when I travel around the world... that'll be kinda busy. We'll see how much that happens. I might do most of that before I get married. Well, you never know. We could do it as a family. Who knows what's going to happen in the future.

I actually have this completely unreasonable hope... I'd like to have three sets of twins. Because I've always been fascinated with twins. And because that cuts my pregnancy time in half! Less than half, since twins usually come early! Haha.

I'm looking forward to being a wife and a mom. I'm not ready for that now, but say in about five years, give or take... it'll be good.

And there will be time. My children will have school for, say, three hours in the morning... but I am of the school of thought that until they reach middle school or high school, children should have their afternoons free. Just to LIVE! They will have time. We will all have time. I know there will be seasons with little time... but time is something that must be fought for and protected. And that's a battle my husband and I will whole heartedly fight.

Yeah. :) I'm enjoying the seasons of life. I'm in no rush to hurry off to the next one. Time and seasons weren't meant to be rushed.

Farewell for now!

The clock, the choir, and the redeemed...

The clock ticks

The choir sings

The redeemed dance

The mini missionaries prepare

And the content rest

The first day of class was September 16, 2013. Four months ago. As of tomorrow, it will have been 18 weeks. 18 out of estimated 46. So, the year is about 40% done now.

... Wow. How did this happen? How is it already 40% done?

At any rate, I won't be putting up a post for every single week anymore, haha. I'm too far behind for that! Last I posted was week 8, which was really week 12. And now it's week... 12, I think... but is really week 18. Haha, it doesn't matter. We're not doing our forms with week numbers on them anymore at any rate. There is no official week number.

Christmas break was a really good time, hanging out with my family again. Some highlights that come to mind would be - going out with siblings, road trip with my parents, and playing with my nephew and cousin. :)

Since coming back to GL, we had a little bit of the highly coveted class time. I remember the first day back in class. So rich and full and peaceful. Just... good, savory, satisfying. The basement is like my home. Just to be. Just to sit there and enjoy. I didn't even feel the need to participate in the discussion much, just... to soak it all in. I used to be more verbal in class, but sometime in between Thanksgiving and Christmas I've quieted down a bit. It's just like the natural progression of things. Like Reepicheep (that is, movie Reepicheep) once said: "The moment there is nothing to say, I assure you I will not say it." I feel that way about class time. The bulk of what I've had to say has already been said. I've had students ask me to talk more... but, you know, I'm good where I'm at. The bulk of what I had to say has been said. The material we're covering now is more mature, less basic, more... self-contained. It just is. Like a neat little package to be savored, as opposed to the bigger fundamental issues (basic, fundamental, crucial... but rarely addressed in Christianity, despite how key they are) that always benefited from a bit of chewing. I'm content.

We've started choir. We've been practicing "He Reigns" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKTqwBetI1I and "The Time is Now" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tebu2NTUXnE

We're all super thrilled about the second one! And the first one is pretty cool, too.

We've started dance also. We had a talk about how dance and the way people view dance has been so perverted in our society. But we're working to restore it as a form of art. I'm really excited about this.

We've started some Spanish lessons also. And we've been doing fundraisers for our Honduras trip. We're trying to raise $30,000 total. We sold tickets for a drawing to win some football tickets and stuff, which was a great success. In two weeks we raised about $20,000. Last night we worked at an Amazon party with a temp agency, and this week we'll be staying in hotels for four days working a Microsoft show. It was fun last night, and I'm looking forward to this week!

Maybe later I'll post some pictures I've taken over the weeks. But I'll sign off for now. Farewell wherever you fare!