Honduras Day #6 Children. Simple things. Focus.

March 9, Day #6

• 6:15 or 7:15? 6:15. More sleep! Breakfast 7:30. We woke up, thinking it was 7:15. Thankfully, it wasn't! It was 6:15! Which meant we got to sleep longer, since breakfast was at 7:30. ;)
• Laying in hammock. Music. Live like you’re loved. Does our worship have hands? ... Running to your arms. X) So many promises coming to fruition. Soaking in the delight. Declaring trust, rather than “but for two years He didn’t meet my needs.” More letting go of that. Great things. Plans. Big “My daughter, you don’t want to miss out on any of it. I’m preparing you for BIG things, and it will be worth it!” Beginning to come to fruition. x)
• Walk property with camera. Carolina picture gift.
• Breakfast. Pastor Ed – “It’s so cool to watch you come alive. And your intro to the stomp was so perfect!”
• Pastor Brian talking about something or other.
• Jim talking! @_@ SO GOOD! Focus. Being away from the states brings focus. Friday night was amazing. But in the states, after a week of hard work, we would not have wanted to do a children’s service. Here there is so little. We can focus. Can we bring that back to the states with us? Story about Jim in other country, putting roof on house. Not done. HUGE rain storm. Sideways. 2’ in 2 hours. In US it would have been a disaster. “Oh no, they lost all their belongings! Major tragedy. Keep them in your prayers!” and live elsewhere for 3 months while catching breath type thing. But there.. it was just a tiny bump. No big deal. They just took their clothes out to the line to dry, and their other few belongings, shrugged, and moved on. (That is what I want for my life!) The world and experiences are so much bigger than us. Can we keep focus? He mentioned how he likes it when I pull out my huge map everywhere. In the airport, the airplane... perspective, the world is big! Shocker, when he was young you had to get the antenna just right to watch TV. Bump it just a bit, and it falls out of the focus and loses the channel. We are like that. So easy to lose focus. Keep focus!

AHHH!!! @_@ I am enamored with this entire concept, this revelation, this greatness. The simple things. The focus. The perspective. I claim this for my life. My entire life. This is my birthright and my inheritance, and I choose to walk in it. This is mine. The simple. The focus. The important. So much tragedy could be avoided by a simple shift in perspective. So much pleasure can be gained by a simple shift in perspective. So much care for other people. So much... so much greatness is to be gained by simple simple simple shifts in perspective. Ahhh!!! It's just real and true and whole... it calls to me, it grabs me, it woos me to deeper depths and higher flight!!! This is my King's way. This is my birthright. And I claim it. No matter where I live or what I'm doing... perspective. I will always seek to keep perspective. 

• Soccer field. 9ish-12ish. 2-3 hours playing with children. x) Washcloths. Drawing... much drawing. x) Talking with the children. Communicating. Learning. Monica mentioned that my Spanish is getting really good. =) Such a good time. x) Staid in the shade! Oh, first time frontier style bathroom. It was SUCH an amazing time playing with the children! One of my favorites... just hanging out with them, playing... they were drawing on the back of my world map. I would say in Spanish, "Who wants to draw... a happy face and a sad face? A pig? A horse? A duck? A house? A mountain?" Etc. etc. And they would jump to draw them. And, and... ah, we just had so much fun enjoying each others' existences! Haha, when one started tickling one of my classmates... I grinned and called out in Spanish, "Everyone! Attack! Tickle!" Completely in Spanish, so my classmate doubtless had no clue why they all suddenly did so. >:) I love being able to communicate. xD
• Lunch
• Resting. Packing. Pig clothes. Removing ticks and ants from laundry. Folding. Marie. Talk about living here. Practically.
• Inside house by myself. Brie walking by – “Pondering the mysteries of the universe?”
• Hanging out with Alicia.
• A bunch sick, fuego? Dehydration? Amiba? Me, mild symptoms.
• Dinner. Prayer for missionaries. Right after talk with Chad about prophetic. Words just came to my mind... via... aha... my spirit. So I spoke over them greatness, fullest potential. Wildness, beyond their wildest dreams. And contentment in their identity, to never forget who they ARE, so they can do what they do to its fullest potential, because it is not their identity. And they would pass this on to those they ministered too. I spoke with authority, and people agreed with me. Then the next person started praying, and the young mks grew restless. So I watched them on the porch for the next 20ish mintues while the prayer continued. x)
• Despicable Me 2 with children in concha! Goodbye! D= Note and drawing for Carolina. x) (Emily helped me with grammar.)
• Goodbye... T_T
• Massage for Alicia, Taylor, and Rachel. About an hour. Talk. [Confusing scribbles in the margin -] Doors. Talk. Lunch earlier. After. Class not let me leave. Speak life and death. Massage school. Etc. Girl hang out time. Quality time, my love language. x) Here is real. Scheduled is... less free.
• Getting ready for bed and writing this.

Today I have put my finger on what I’ve been processing this week. This has been growing in me as I’ve fallen in love with this land, these people, this community. This is my default. Like to intern is my default. Unless Jesus says differently, this is going to happen. He has inclined my heart to this place. He has directed me here. I face intern year. I face Honduras. But he hasn’t told me to walk yet. 6 months yet before I leave this path to tread the next. And my face is pointed to these two places. Perhaps only to look. Maybe He has directed me to Honduras only to look. Or maybe to walk. Same with intern year. When the time comes for me to walk, I will walk where I am pointed. Right now it is these two places. One, the other, both... who knows. But when the time to walk comes, He will either direct me elsewhere or He won’t. And if He doesn’t, I will walk where I am currently pointed. Which is intern year and/or Honduras. GL has won my heart. This community in Honduras has won my heart. We shall see what the future holds. I’m loving every step of the journey. I just don’t want to leave my family in California behind. I am not worried, though. I care about you very much, you are loved and wanted. I want you. I’m no longer troubled, though. I have chosen to trust. I have peace. I don’t understand, but would it be trust if I did? I don’t know what the future looks like, but you are loved and wanted. My Beloved will keep this in mind as He guides my paths.

Honduras Day #5 Pigs, lunch, gathering and revelation...

March 8, Day #5

• Breakfast 6:30
• Pig slaughter. Matt camera. We slaughtered two pigs!!! It was so cool! I had my hands all over it, though I certainly didn't do the actual killing. But it was like dissecting in science class. I'd never dissected anything bigger than a frog or a fish before. So this was a really cool experience. [Insert pictures if I ever get them from Matt.]
• Lemons. Pastor Brian Camera. [Insert pictures if possible.]
• 10 AM, usually 80ish oz of water. Only about 15. Dehydration a little while lemon hunting. Yes! I usually had about 80 oz of water through my system by 10 AM, but that morning I didn't. Who wants to touch something that's going into their mouth when they have pig blood on their hands? I didn't want to handle my water bottle!
• Talking with Wendy about school – an hour or two. She's an older middle aged single lady from the church that hosts GL, and she's a teacher at the school in Honduras. We had a good time discussing education!
• Pigs for lunch.
• Feeling unsanitary, and like a savage. Garrett agreed.
• Jason and Sarah’s story. Volunteer for a year, $9 per day. $3,285 for year.
• Carolina y Pamela, saw together for first time. I just kept getting those two girls confused! But Wendy later said that she did too, so at least I'm not the only one. xD And it turned into a big joke between Carolina and I.
• Swimming hole beyond soccer field. Lots of us. Half shower.
• Talking with Esther. =) We'd been trying to schedule a time to hang out before, but it always fell through! Things just work better when we're all traveling together, all staying together, conversations and hanging out can just happen spontaneously. I'd tried to schedule time to hang out with many of my classmates one-on-one or in small groups before, and then actually got to in Honduras.
• Group gathering to share highlights so far.
• Kristie teared up over how we’ve all changed, grown, and are ministering. It’s bigger than we know. We may feel it’s just another time singing... but no! We are doing warfare for this region. So powerful.
• Jim mentioned dodge ball at the beginning of the year, how 5 minutes into it I was off reading a book... but now I always want to be with people, like in the kitchen the other day and stuff. Caleb mentioned that he loves seeing how fascinated I am with everything, in the middle of it all. Like putting my finger in the hole in the pig. And he mentioned Zach, how we were all blown away last night, and where has this kid been for the last 5 months? But I knew. I saw the progression. Even in our last few days of class. Zach is great.
• We sang – He is good, He is good, when there’s nothing good in me... etc. I cried. Because the lyrics hit me in new ways. It hit me at, “You are love, you are love, on display for all to see.” Because for the first time in my life... that’s me. “The riches of your love will always be enough...” “In your presence I’m made whole...” Surrounded by my people. Here. Moved by lyrics. It was an embrace moment, as He whispered, “See, see! I told you I was preparing you for big things, things you wouldn’t want to miss any of.” Ahh... Sweet promises fulfilled. x) Beginning to be fulfilled.
• Dinner, shower.
• Earlier! Moth on hand. Meghan picture. [Picture!]
• Playing with children, un mapa! Then playground. Junior in arms or holding hand. Coskia. Tickle. Roaring. Lots of pointing at who they wanted me to chase. No ientiendo the game, us and them... teams? Anyway, then in concha. Lilia drawing. Sharing food, water, magnifying glass, flashlight. Foco. Magic towel. Lilia asked to keep it. I said it was for everyone to look at. I love vocabulary, to communicate! Towel not done growing, niña called to bed. Basketball and gymnastics with Isaac and Clara.
• Getting ready for bed.
• So tired now! – 11:04 PM

Here is the map that the children were helping me with! I took a picture of it that night. It ended up getting written and colored on a lot more over the next few days. But here it is in its original form.

And another picture Lilia and Jefry drew...

And shoes. U_U They always got tossed at the door when we went in, to limit dirt and dust. Several times I lined them up pretty, but here's what the floor normally looked like. xD

Honduras Day #4 Friends, tortillas, princesses...

March 7, Day #4

• Breakfast
• Digging for clothesline. Haley, Taylor, Garrett, Rob. (Some of my favorite classmates.) Shade tent. Refilling bottles. Back rub. More support of others (safety consultant stuff) than actual work. Carolina scared me. xD Fell and scraped knew. Garrett – “Is someone picking on you? >:( You tell me!” x)
• Lunch. Andrew – “You did really well speaking last night. I enjoy watching you because you are doing all this by God’s grace – by His ability, not yours. And you can see it on you all the time. Some people speak, but you don't’ see it in their lives. But not you.”
• After lunch, about 4 hours making tortillas with Lenti and Emily. (Pastor Brian has picture on iPad.) [Insert picture here if I ever get it... try to remember to ask Emily.] Communicating. Learning. Enjoying the company. Oh... I dreamed of this for so many years. x)
• Shower, then dinner, then gather in basketball court. So good! Lots of hugs. Lots of dancing. Both before and after. Full love cup. Contentment. Promise. ¡El es bueno para me! I smiled so much. The atmosphere was just so charged with appreciation, value, love, care... everyone smiled so big, everyone flooded from the chairs to give a smile and a hug... it was good. It was like family.
• After service, prayer. “Ellas son su hijas. Usted quere. Usted dice ellas es bonitas. Muchas gracias por su hijas. Es princessas!” First one girl, then several at once. And then my heart cried out in English for Him to embrace them tonight, for hope and future for them. And I was moved. My eyes moistened. Because I am free to give. To speak life. And because they are so precious, and... and... I love them. I want them to know His satisfaction. And I thought also of Neleydy. All the princesses... they are precious. And I felt it. And my heart rejoiced. After prayer, many hugs. Then playing and dancing. Chalk. Balls. Chasing, tickling. Translating or Garrett where and how he and the Honduran guys were going to play soccer.
• ...Such a good night. x)
• Hanging out in house. Pictures on my phone. Getting ready for bed. Writing this. 11:55. 

Brushing Taylor's teeth! xD

Millie in one of the bedrooms! ;D

The sweetest dog in Honduras... most of them ignored people, like big cats. Without the attitude.

Annie, Rachel, Taylor, Alicia...

Taylor and I

Rachel and I

I just loved having sleepovers with my friends every night... x)

The kitchen... Honestly, this house was sooo simple. I fell in love with how simple it was. I want a house like that. I want a country like that. I want a community like that. I want a life like that.

Taylor and Rachel

The hammock! It was such a comfortable and fun bed. x) Rachel tried it the first night and didn't like it, Taylor tried it the second night and didn't like it, I tried it the third night... and loved it. So I had it for the rest of the week.

Bathroom behind the pantry, two bedrooms on the back wall, front door to the right, kitchen to the left.

Standing in the kitchen with the camera...

Simple sink! One of the faucets was purified.

Stovetop!

My luggage staid very neat and organized the whole time. U_U 

The bathroom. The walls didn't go all the way up to the ceiling, so when you turned the light on it light up the whole house. Well, half the house. The bedroom walls are the only ones that went all the way to the ceiling.

Pantry!

Fridge and front door!

See, the walls don't tough the roof.

Hammock connected to the rafters.

It was such a cozy little house... SO SIMPLE! So easy to focus on... well... on things that are important! There's just so many distractions here. I just love the simple. Simple, simple, simple!!! @_@ I'm enamored with simplicity. x) It's a good thing. I want a house like that. @_@ xD Haha, I'll be content with whatever and wherever I am. But I love that place. I love... not the house, but the people. It's so simple. It's so easy to focus on the people. It's so easy to forget about insignificant things and just enjoy life and friendship.

Honduras Day #3 Testimonies, children, dance...

March 6, Day #3

Breakfast. Work 7:30 – 11:30. Hole. “Sam, go find Zach. Take his place, and send him down here. He appreciates Spanish!” xD But when the Honduran men arrived they sent Rachel and I off. Cleaning up trash burn pile. Timothy Green narration. ;) 11:30 shower. 12:00 – 12:45 washing clothes in sink. Tail end of lunch. Missed announcements. First group went to school without me. I went with second group. Lilia and Jeffery ran right up and jumped in my arms. X) Rob introduced stomp. 5 guys. Cydney talked about beauty. Something else. Then hokey pokey and chicken dance. Then prayer and farewell. Some rode back with us. Lilia showed me she lives in the green house. Working on testimony stomp intro in girls house (around 12:45 Meghan told me to do that instead of a longer message, because Pastor Brian was taking the keynote). Millie worked on intro for Simply Free. Dinner. Sat with Kaitlin and Amanda. They said I’m REALLY good with the children and that all my Spanish practice has paid off. “You can communicate!” After dinner I worked on my intro more, then we piled into the truck and drove to the next village. 15 min drive? 10? Some children, too. Alejando (spelling?). That boy is very patient! I’ve asked him his name so many times. This time he mentioned he should write it for me. And he was so patient in helping me understand – to some extent – what he was saying in Spanish. When we arrived, there was music and worship for about an hour. Afterward Carolina wrote out her full name for me. xD And Megan took a picture of us.

[Insert picture here if I ever get around to getting it from Megan]

The Hondurans gave a service, but I wasn’t paying attention. I was mentally practicing my message. I changed some, put more heart in it, and focused on remembering my transitions. But I am writing too many details. It was my first time giving a message. Some comments afterwards – 

Esther: You made me cry!

Taylor: You have such an evangelical anointing.
Me: Oh! Teaching and evangelical?
Taylor: Anything with speaking, really. You’re such a good communicator!

Emily: (in Spanish) You gave me goose bumps!

And Millie did amazing introducing Simply Free, too. That was before stomp. And we had the best translator. I introduced myself in Spanish – talking about how WA is cold and CA is hot and I like Honduras. Megan said it was completely understandable. My grammar wasn’t all technically correct, but completely functional.

Anyway, comments were afterwards. Next was Pastor Brian keynote. Then worship. Recibe toda. 
Then, running high fives with niña. Then everyone started dancing. SO AMAZING. Lasted long time. Drenched in sweat. GOOD NIGHT! x) Back home, this and that, ready for bed, talk with Rachel y Taylor. Writing this. Now 11:50 PM.

Honduras Day #1-2 Launch into Honduras!

Well, I suppose I'll just start with posting my transcribed notes without commentary, since there's no time to sit down and write the commentaries!

March 3-4, Day #1 

Departed in evening. 10 PM – 3 AM (6 AM) flight to Atlanta, GA. 3-4 hour layover. San Pedro noon central. Lunch in Spanish! Bus ride! No seatbelts. About an hour on top of the bus with Clara, Megan, Rachel, Isaac, and Garrett. 20 mph? Dinner. Hanging out with girls. Tree. Scary stories. Cold shower. Girls house. 10ish girls. Hammock. Pallet couch. Mattresses on floor. 2 rooms with bunk beds. SLEEP!

March 5, Day #2

Orphanage property. 6 houses. Big house, girls house, worker’s house. 3 children homes. Library, offices, basketball court/church. 6:45 AM up! Breakfast. Work. Bricks. Cleaning yard. Madera for fuego. Stump removal for baños. Digging a 8’ diameter pit for burning. Rachel, Zach, Honduran house dads. So much fun! Trabaja y jugar. Arboles. Bannanas. Chocolote. Good for cuts, no come fruta! Teira, lombres, insectos, picos. Good time. Beautiful Hondruas! 18 oz water, refill and bathroom every hour. 80*? Less? Hot in sun, but not to hot. Well hydrated. Not Matt, though. Kelvin told us not to work too hard and get burned out. Take turns with the tools and sitting in the shade. Such a good time! x) I love being here. Lunch. Very good meals! So Good choir practice. Washing up the kitchen. Meeting Daisy and Carolina. Writing this log. First performance! No limit, Rachel’s testimony introducing So Good. Playing with children. Futból with Jeffery. Swinging. Nancy/Carolina/... 3 names! SO much fun. x) So funny. I am crazy. Lilia. Junior. Fredrico. Daisy. Many children. Shower. Dinner. Spaghetti, sauce, fruit salad, garlic bread. On porch, singing. Praying. I almost cried. Such a powerful moment. Surrounded by my people as we worshiped and prayed... to bring down a spirit of religion in this region. Rules rather than relationship. Surrounded by my people. It is REAL! There is unity here. This is real. I almost cried. Then getting ready for the service. Walk to church. Talk with Amanda while walking. Now sitting in blue church. First time performing So Good for a congregation. Stomp. No limit. Testimonies by Andrew, Kaitlin, and Meghan (because no students volunteered). Good night! Bought food for fundraiser afterwards. 10 L. 50¢ each! Jim asked me to speak, longer message, next evening. =D Stayed up until 12:00 writing forgiveness message.

Ahh! It's such a struggle not to write a commentary!!! But I must. Or I'll never get any sleep. Ah well, I'll put this on auto post and move on...

Treasure Maps

I haven't taken the time to sit down and work on Honduras posts yet... indeed, I don't believe I've touched my computer since my last post until now! Life is just too full and rich and fast-paced to make much computer time... for this season of my life, that is. Anyway, I had to get on to request to be excused from jury duty. I've been summoned once before, and the case looked interesting. I was sad that I didn't get picked! Haha, and now I'm excusing myself from this one. But they're sure to summon me again later at a more convenient time, and maybe I'll get picked next time. ;D Everything in its own season and timing.

Road trip. The countdown has been on for a while, and we're down to about a week! Hopefully I get the Honduras posts out before then. (Not much chance of that! =P) I don't think I'm going to take my computer with me. The only reason I would want to is so I can download pictures off of my phone, which fills up fast. But I can probably just upload them to Dropbox or whatnot.

Sunday was a really fun day! I spent nearly all day playing with my house niece and nephews. Here's a picture I took in the evening.

They each drew a map of the property on large paper I had in my project supplies, and took turns marking hidden treasure on them! I grabbed five mason jars from my closet and put knick-nacks in them, and the two children took turns hiding them and searching for them, based on the treasure maps. :)

... This is what childhood is about. To live, and live life abundantly. To enjoy life to the fullest. To be active, creative, to use our minds and let wonder thrill us, adventure call us, puzzles challenge us. And maybe it isn't just childhood, after all. But for the children's sake... may there be more play, more fun, more education, and less text books.

A yearning has really awakened in my heart this year... My heartcry has been for the children ever since I read For the Children's Sake as a young teenager many years ago. But it has increased... and grown. My heartcry is now not only for children in general, but for my future children. Before this year, I wasn't sure whether or not I would walk that road... wife, mother, homemaker... but now I know for sure that I am going to. =D And with that certainty in mind, a yearning for my own future children has awakened within me. I'm so excited to meet them! "Oh, they'll love this!" I think to myself, as I pin ideas on Pinterest... as I imagine scenarios... as I wonder what their personalities will be.

And, a couple weeks ago, something dawned on me. I honestly don't have that long to wait. Many girls dream of this from early childhood. A girl may dream about her future husband and children for 20 years before she enters that season. But me? I've just really started to dream. I'm already twenty years old.  In five years I may be standing at the alter. I may be holding my first child (or, preferably, twin children). It's really really not that long! But it is long enough. For as excited as I am for that... I'm just really enjoying this current season. May these next five (or whatnot) years, this season of singleness, continue to be a rich and full time of contentment. The future need not hurry at all... I'm content here. It's just so good. It's amazing. It's beautiful. 

I like being 20. I'm old, yet young... I'm firmly established in my adulthood, if I can put it that way. I look at myself in the eyes of my younger self, and am silenced by the quiet dignity of it. 20 years old. There is dignity in living and breathing and existing on this earth. And there is a dignity in knowing that I'm not stuck feeling like anything different than what I am - a young adult. I love childhood, and part of childhood never leaves (or at least is not meant to). Yet in some ways, my childhood came to an early end, and I had about 7 years where the child Jamie had died, and the adult Jamie had not yet awakened and become established. Because the child Jamie wasn't meant to die yet, but we live in an imperfect world and these things happen sometimes. So I existed in that strange state for quite a while, hovering between childhood and adulthood. Three years ago, at age 17, I stepped towards my adulthood. And now, three years later, I am firmly established in it. I am capable. I am valuable. I am loved. I am powerful. I am beautiful. I am energetic. I am creative. I am forever filled with child-like vigor and joy. I am an ambassador and a daughter. 

I am free.

News about news!

Well, I brought a mini notebook with me to Honduras. Usually I would use my phone's "Notes" app for such purposes, but in Honduras everything returned to the delightful old fashioned primitive way of doing things! =D I filled more than 2/3 of it, scribbling a total of 4,420 words just in log notes alone. No, I didn't keep count. xD But today I finally sat down and got it all typed up, so that's how I know. My log notes were more detailed than usual, so when I post them here to the blog I may at times rely on them for the main content of the blog posts.

I didn't bring a camera with me, and I wasn't able to have my phone with me much. I was able to take it out and get a few pictures a few times, so I'll post those. I took pictures on others' cameras, but I haven't collected them all. Ah well, so be it. I will, perhaps, collect them in future. For now, I'll just post what I have. I don't have any posts prepared yet, but it shouldn't take long, considering that my notes are all transcribed now! ;D